Shared meaning lives within overlapping snippets of understanding. That understanding ensures you get the actual fast food you ordered.

Once, in a tourist town, I constructed a story around a waitress who served us.
I imagined her to be distracted.
Maybe things at home weren’t going well.
Non-verbal info creates meaning.
Those cues suggested that her full attention was not with her customers.

We each ordered a special cheeseburger but received the house special hot dog.
It was a good meal. The emotional cost of insisting upon being right wasn’t worth it… holiday vibes and all that.
That waitress received our information. But did the information remain only background noise for her?
“Not listening” is often the wrong diagnosis. It’s the easy one that all behavioral and linguistic experts rattle off.

You do remember that time when you cruised down the freeway.
Mind focused, the end of the journey was becoming clear.
Somebody swerves into your lane, you curse, and correct, but for those moments there are no thoughts about the destination.
All your precious cognitive resources scream at one outcome: Don’t crash! Survive!

And back there within the mundane, the “ordinary-everyday” of a diner, meaning also breaks without as much as a whisper.
Did the waitress experience something similar? Maybe she did hear “special cheeseburgers.”
Perhaps another thought intruded. Perhaps another table called her over. Perhaps something entirely unrelated entered her mind.
She didn’t fail to hear the order.
She failed to carry the complete meaning from hearing to action.

That distinction is important. It shifts the discussion away from blaming people.
Instead of saying, “She wasn’t listening,” you can ask:
At what point did the intended meaning stop being the thing that guided her next action?

So, what’s the antidote?

I would reckon it’s knowing that disconnection is the biggest existential crisis that humankind is facing today, this minute.
When I feel dramatic, I refer to it as the prime fracture in the human condition. You may quote that!
With that philosophical snippet firmly in hand, read the room. Do you see someone willingly “not listening,” or just buckling under load?
Can you lighten the load by speaking slower, not piling up multiple orders, and changing parameters every second?
You will see when your info doesn’t land, when it doesn’t generate meaning.
I believe there’s no shame in roping in the focus.
“We look forward to our two cheeseburgers.”
By doing that, you might get a slightly embarrassed, “Oops, almost put it down as two special dogs!”
Some call it the language of patience, others call it being human.